Even though it seems like your responsibility as a parent to educate and lecture your kids on what you've learned through your life experience, sometimes it can be more beneficial to restrain yourself from bringing your own opinion into discussions and simply listen and interpret. Kids are said to feel less controlled by their parents, and more supported through active listening. You can develop effective patterns of communication with your child from an early age, which will be an important base of your relationship once they turn into teenagers and tend to close off from you more. The benefits of active listeningĪctive listening builds a sense of trust, support and empathy between parent and child. Allowing them to fully engage and discuss with you is important for their development and your relationship. Rather than assume they're trying to get you to change your mind, and therefore cut them off, try and avoid jumping to conclusions. If they're complaining that you won't let them go to the cinema with their friends, answer with, ‘What I am hearing you say is that you want a chance to spend time with your friends and not being able to frustrates you.' Then, the discussion can move forward and you both can reach a solution. It's important to show that you've taken on what your child has said, and understand it completely. It's important to communicate the right message, so making eye contact, opening up your posture (no folded arms or legs), leaning towards them and getting down to their level by sitting next to them or kneeling. We're not the only ones doing the inspecting - our kids also look out for signs to measure how much we're actually listening to them. If it's an emergency, tell your child that what they're saying is important to you and that you'll talk about it more once you've dealt with the other situation. Try and avoid being distracted by other things, such as another one of your kids making noise or your phone buzzing. While in conversation, look directly at your child when they're speaking. ![]() For example, if your teenager is talking about a bad mark in a test as though they don't really care, but they're twiddling their fingers or are trying not to make eye contact with you, they could be seriously upset or worried but feel embarrassed to say that to you explicitly. How can you try active listening with your child?īody language, tone of voice and attitude can sometimes point towards the opposite of what your child is saying. This technique can be applied to toddlers, children, teenagers, and even adults - they're never too old to be listened to! Whether it's your 3-year-old complaining that his sister stole his favourite toy, or your 17-year-old worrying about their friends leaving them out, active listening is worth giving a try. ![]() Rather than listening in order to reply, active listening involves you communicating to your child the message that they have your undivided attention and that you are listening and understanding everything that they are saying and showing to you. ![]() In other words, active listening is simply listening to your child in a way that allows full understanding. Child development stages: Ages 0-16 years.See all conception & fertility features.Fines for taking children out of school.
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